vunerable

and now i feel like a child
experencing change for the first time
but can you imagine that it didn’t have to be this hard,
imagine that it didn’t have to be this complacated
to figure out who we are
what if i wasn’t a blank canvas for the world to paint on
but i were the painter prepared to unscramble my picasso ‘d mess
that way i could make sense of the life i’ve lead.

i wonder why i had so much trouble looking into your eyes
and why i couldn’t find the words
because what i meant to say was that i want to let you in
i want to play it smooth, be witty and cool
i just wish i had the guts to call you tonight
but i can’t get myself
i can’t get myself to find the phone
no i can’t get myself to find an answer
but i will most likely find every hour of morning with my eyes wide
and my mind a tangled mess attached to a speeding car
with the radio playing rain city on repeat
as it does laps around my eyes
leaving rubber remains on my sockets
so i can remember the lack of electricity
or maybe just all the insecurities
that being around girls brings out in me
because i feel like an adolescent
falling in love for the first time
feeling naked in a crowded room
exposed, outted, desprate, alone
aching for anyone, aching for you
to grant me the comfort of clothes