…?

i have decisions to make
about my life and the roads i should take
and all my cliché concerns of repeating history
slap me with my own hypocritical hand
all because of my recent affirmation.

the Truth is
i do not deserve his touch
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again
a man’s Love is lost on me

so where so i begin?
where do i begin?

i think i have less of a heart than i thought before
i think i’ve been over thinking and i do not want to think any more
but my feelings frighten me and my fears speak for me
my feelings terrify me and my fear imprisons me.

i have decisions to make
and Truths to accept
i have awkwardness to defuse
and labels to excuse.

i have more than i think i can possibly overcome
but if i think as much as i think i will
than overcome shall be the only outcome
so over and out
this is me entering oblivion.
over and out
this is me waking in a world i know nothing of.

i have decisions to make
and hearts to break and put back together
but all the kings horses and all the kings men
can never connect my pieces
only i can, yes, only i can
save myself again.

and i have the clay in which to mold my future
i have words to muffle the sound of a hearts explosion
and i have poetry to lighten the blow of the Truth
but where do i begin?
where do i begin?

most of all, where does it end?
when does the struggle become the strength
and the strength become the story?
when do i get to feel at peace again?

guilt, which hits my body like the plague
is taking me over cell by cell
and the prison is becoming over crowded
with dying membrane and overactive memories.

this is not what i do.
this is not who i am.

so tell me once and for all,
where do i begin
and where does it end?

 

healer

i weep words of wisdom
into the ink of pens
with a dream of creating
the language of personal revelation.
i exhale my linguistic nature so to
plant poetic clouds in the sky
the type that inspire imagination.
because as each moments passes,
i just want to know that am part of the cure.
still, i can’t help but get the feeling that
my Time is closing in.
i only have a few more lives to live
and when my soul is tired and worn
in a body other than this one
my only hope is to become
a star in the milky way
so luminous that people forget to fear the night;
a star that makes empty eyes
become incandescent;
a star that makes weary spirits become translucent
because we all deserve to glow from within.
but above all,
i hope peace will echo in the souls of those who speak my name.
i never want the shape and the color of my old soul to be forgotten

and when it’s all said and done
i just want to be remembered as a healer.

 

our hands

my Clock’s got game.

the very moment i stop watchin
he will run circles ‘round my flirtatious conversations
speeding past laughter, stealing moments of our pre-summer romance
with the second hand as it races races right on through the nine
yes we’re going on ten
going on ten!
but the minute hand won’t wait up
won’t let us stay up all night and talk on my floor
about our big dreams and little wishes
so let’s have overtime in my car
and call a time out with our kisses

we need more time!
we need more time!
we aren’t stressin’
but damn Clock
can’t you stop for a minute?

i just want a moment to take him in
memorize were the features on his face land
and the way his hand fits in mine
i want to feel his fingertips even when they aren’t there
yes, i want to remember it all
yes, i want to remember it all for when he’s really not tbere come fall
‘cause his chest has been my pillow
and his heartbeat’s been my lullaby
and i just can’t imagine life without him by my side
but Clock you are the ultimate paradox
you’ve made two weeks feel like a life time
yet it’s flown by
and i’d ask for an explanation but i know the reason won’t justify the means
so i just keep living every moment of every day
and when things start racing racing
and the Clock’s game is getting the best of my days
i’ll make sure to remember how slow the hour hand moves
and i’ll be sure to concentrate on how slow our hands move
because my Clock may have game
and he may be able to run circles ‘round my worrying head
but we still got Time
yeah we still got time to keep our hearts racing
racing until our voices carry to the other the end of the line
at the end of the shortest day of our lives
that is until tomorrow passes us by

and we’ll continue on this way
until we learn how to beat the Clock at it’s own game
we’ll continue on this way
until we defy the limits of Time

 

dawn

i may not know much about the thoughts in my head
i may not know the answers to all your questions
or even all of mine
i may not understand how i ended up on this path
and i certainty don’t have a clue as to where i’ll land
but the one thing i don’t doubt
is that i’ll figure it all out along the way
and i felt the rain through the windshield
i felt it soak through my clothes, into my soul
i let your index finger became a windshield wiper on my arm
clearing away all my doubt
and though your words, like comforting rays of summer dawn
brighten even my darkest day
i can’t help but feel like my air supply is limited
because sometimes it’s hard to inhale when your around
and i get out of breath from trying to keep ours in time
still, Fear, Fear grips me like never before
tries to get me to put my guard up twice as high
but my head is so far above the clouds that
defense mechanisms don’t have a chance of bringing me back down
so i’m praying for rain and wishing for time
because i want Love to flood my heart,
wash away all my Fear and doubt
but Time is the tease that leaves me aching for more
distance will eventually just keep us apart
and sure, i don’t know much,
i don’t have all the answers about where this will lead
but i’m willing to find out
because the one thing i know for certain is that
i’m happiest when i’m with you
yes, the one thing i don’t doubt
is that i’m happiest when i am by your side
so even if this ends up to be a mere blink in time
i just want you to know
that i thank God for every moment i get to spend with you

 

static

i am a uni-verse
and you are the red shift
expanding the limits of the galaxies of my mind
you got me contemplating the notion of the milti-verse theory
because when i laid on your lap
i felt our stomachs expand and contract in perfect time
like the perfect rhyme to the multi-verses i write with you in mind
and i thought about wiping the sand from between my toes
but my soul wouldn’t feel right if it didn’t at least have a grain of you
yet i have nothing to worry about,
because we have the static cling that makes me think that we have the real thing
still, don’t get my wrong i know we have 99 miles worth of reasons
to walk away and not even try
but i also know that we have two hearts
that aren’t willing to say good-bye
and despite all this clever syntax
and the joining of the uni-verses
i have this feeling that the world is putting a sin tax on Love
as if it’s a crime for two people to feel like one
for their eyes to be distorted and blinded by happiness
or maybe it’s just out of pure jealousy
because they want what we have
and if nothing else, we’ll always have the month of may
if nothing else we’ll always have static electricity
and if you ask me how i know,
i’ll say because my thoughts cling to you
like hair to a balloon
but i can only hope that my balloon reaches you
and makes you dream of things like romance
makes you believe that static is the answer to all the questions of Love
that a simple cling is all we need to defy the pending limits of Time and distance

 

wind and sun

confusion runs miles through the insides of my body
encircling my light
like the souls of the unborn who orbit the sun
waiting for the day they get to touch earth
and i am burning, burning
for the touch of someone else’s skin
to bring me home and tuck me in
make me feel like i have a place in their world
because i would die for a bite of Love
just so i could spend eternity trying to remember the way it tastes
but to no avail i still am ignorant as to whether or not it’s sweet or just plain bitter
so my wonder and my lust drive me to the shore
that way i can test the water
and i am hoping for it to be warm and inviting
splashing some clarity on my untouched skin
i am hoping for a kiss to help remind my lips of their purpose
but anatomy blinds my heart and distorts my mind
making fear and uncertainty easy to find
but words come so easily when you’re around
and who could ask for anything more?
who could ask for anything more?