In My Mind

The movies have started!

The movies have started!

Yes, the memory movies have started in my mind

like silent films quiet, old, and warn

but I still can hear your voice, your laugh.

And all my (misguided?) motives seemed so strong

when they were still in my head

but speaking them made me seem weak and scared and

I’m starting to wonder if all my reasons for wrecking

and sinking the island that was your bed were wrong

terribly, regrettable wrong.

We’ve had 233 days together and a lifetime apart

 

See , in my mind when you said it was okay to leave,

you were really asking me to stay and lay there a little longer

and every time you laughed it was about something stupid 

I said or did, way back in the summer

every time we kissed I felt my heart shatter

and explode out my eyes.

The longer I stayed the more my heart would break

and  I started to think that it didn’t matter if you liked my words

or my music, or clothes, or suspenders, or television shows, or…

because you loved me. You loved me.

I could have died in your arms,

lied and said I loved you again

but I walked away instead.