Archive for October, 2007

Beware of the Staff

Posted in slam on October 30, 2007 by Joli

The L.I. lifestyle has a way of
making the real world seem impossible
to grab hold of, let alone understand.

H.S. mentality makes me crazy
and aching for something more bona fide and
tangible, and not a boner prone boy.

SATs and ACTs how about
a real education based on the truth,
questions whose answer are worth hearing

Beware of the staff.

They can shut you down just as you try to
get ahead. Watch out for number one, no
not the valedictorian but you.

I suffer from the awful MIS;
Middle Intelligence Syndrome, I’m not
the best if the best or worst of the worst.

So if your anything like me you know
what I mean. Work your ass off for that B
and perfect score is just a metaphor.

Summer’s a salvation, the future is
never close enough to settle into
and pending acceptance rattles inside.

Beware of the staff.

It can colonize in your pores and form
boils on your skin and lead to death but
I shouldn’t worry that my schools infested.

Yeah, we got the MRSA up in
the SEHS. That would of course be
the Morally Robed Social Association.

But do not fear possible infestation,
just stay one foot away from everybody
and have hand sanitizer at all times.

Beware of the staff.

Something

Posted in about a boy, pessimistic, relationship on October 30, 2007 by Joli

give me something to hold onto.
please, I’m starting to need reason to stay
it feels like my life is stuck on fast forward
and that you lost somewhere in the past
I don’t like how it looks back there
so hurry up baby, and catch up fast
I need some motivation to descend my pace
and slow down with you for a while
give me an anchor or a ball and chain
give me a paperweight or just give me your hand
because all I need is something to hold onto

Bleed No More

Posted in friendship on October 22, 2007 by Joli

you can stab me all you want,
talk your shit and be a prick
you say it’s me who turned my back and walked away
but that’s my heart in your hand
my blood all over your clothes
you made a corrupt shiv out of our friendship
and it’s taking all of me
to toss your insults aside
‘cause if you cared, you would have let me live my life
a life filled with simple joys
and extraordinary days
but you can’t see the happiness in me, oh no
your blinded by misery
and broken down by sorrow
I shouldn’t expect you to take in all I am
and still, the saddest part is…
(no, not how it ended but)
you’re nothing more than a memory to me now
so stab me all you want but
I will bleed for you no more

I Do.

Posted in friendship, slam on October 21, 2007 by Joli

you never loved me for who i am, no
you loved the made up version of me, the
broken, confused, self-loathing, feeble me
now that i’m happy you say you don’t know
who i am but i do. i do. I DO
and I will not sit here and be abused, no
because I do not need your selfishness
I’m better off alone than with a friend
who always resents my tranquility

let me out, let me free, you’re choking me!
leave it alone when you are all done, I
I hope that you hate me, hate me so good
it’s the only thing I can ask of you
even after everything we’ve been through
tell your story and spread your lies, I know
one day you won’t have a clue who you are
but I will always know who I am, yeah
I do. I do. I DO know who I am

Contemplating my Worth

Posted in internal battle on October 20, 2007 by Joli

i see my history playing in my present and i wonder if it’s my same mistakes that’s causing my life to remain on repeat. i’ve seen my friends’ come and go and yet, i speculate if it is by my own design. For once it was i who placed myself upon a pedestal and maybe it is so high that i have lost sight of myself. And if that’s so, what is this lesson that i can’t seem to wrap my head around. What is the price of my resistance?
Is it i, or the ones closest to me who are contemplating my worth; is it honesty or vanity that has lead me to this questioning?

Bones

Posted in relationship on October 18, 2007 by Joli

There are no more bones
sharing a space with
all my hung up clothes.